This Week in Chris Johnson: Supporting Lil Boosie, Fanatical Fans and Cryptically Admonishing a Ho
Chris Johnson ran well against the Carolina Panthers last week, going for 130 yards on 27 carries, averaging a healthy 4.8 yards a clip. He even scored a touchdown. (The Titans have paid him $4 million per touchdown this year. Savvy investment!) Let’s dive right into this week’s 140-character insanity.
The Tweet: Please RETWEET and SIGN this Boosie justicePETITIONhttp://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/Boosiejustice -@ChrisJohnson28 @Icebergdr @Marquis_Daniels #TeamBoosieRT (Retweeted from Team BoosieBoo)
The Analysis: The rapper Lil Boosie has been indicted on first-degree murder charges and three counts of possession with intent to distribute narcotics. Oh, and he’s also being investigated for five other murders. And he poses for pictures like this one. There are a lot of causes that celebrities get behind; I would advise Chris Johnson to perhaps pick another, less murder-y one.
The Tweet: She know she bad
The Analysis: Ah, the old “cryptically addressing a ho” routine. A crazy athlete Twitter feed classic. But it’s none of our business who she is or what she did. She know what she did. And it bad.
The Tweet: This weather is nice in Atlanta
The Analysis: It’s good to know that in between playing football games and supporting the cause of accused murderers, Chris takes some time to reflect on the little things. It isn’t all nightclubs and strippers and dinner with the Wayans brothers. Nature can be beautiful. No, not Atlanta’s hottest strip club, Nature. I mean, like, Mother Nature. Nope, that’s a strip club in Atlanta too. Damn it.
The Analysis: A vaguely creepy-looking white lady standing next to a poster of Chris Johnson and wearing a t-shirt that says “Superman Wears Chris Johnson PJs”? Not a typical Chris Johnson fan, that’s for sure. But it’s good to know that craziness crosses all racial and gender barriers. Judge us not by the color of our skin, but by the athletes with personality disorders that we worship!
The Tweet: @MikeSimsWalker whole click iPhone been told u dat
The Analysis: Mike Sims-Walker is a wide receiver in the NFL. That is the only part of this tweet that I understand.